Stone Faced
by MarvelSwagForLife
Summary: I'm sure you've probably all heard about how, when, and why I became a SHEILD agent, but I'm going to tell you that what you heard was probably a lie. You're going to hear the real story of Clint Barton, Not from SHEILD files or the database, no no no, you're gonna hear the real story, see it through my eyes and be there in my thoughts every step of the way. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So I know I said I'd have this up a long time ago but a lot of things came up. So sorry about that, but heres the first chapter!**

When I was little, my dad always told me; 'Someday you're gonna be a SHEILD agent, just like me and your mom.' That is, until I was three. One night, I was over at Coulson's house, being babysat by him and his girlfriend. It was all fun and games and laughter, until Coulson got a phone call. The phone call that completely changed my life. After he got off the phone, he knelt down next to me with tears in his eyes, and told me that my mom and dad weren't coming home. At first, as such a young child, I didn't know what he meant. But eventually after a lot of explaining, I understood that my parents were never going to wake up again, I understood that I would never see them again. This is when I learned to put on a stone-faced expression and hide my emotions. Coulson and his girlfriend raised me, and right off the bat, Coulson started training me to be an agent. He played different games with me that modelled exercises real trainee's do. Things like; 'See if you can remember how many windows are in the house.' Or 'Play ninja and escape the house to get away from the bad guys.' Coulson already started to sharpen my senses. As I got older, he gave me more and more difficult, and age appropriate tasks. At age thirteen, he taught me how to shoot a gun. I liked the idea of a long range weapon, but a gun just didn't quite fit me, it was too loud. I wanted to be able to sneak up on people and kill silently. For my fourteenth birthday, I received my first recurve bow. It was perfect for me. Arrows were so much quieter than bullets, and the bow was easier for me to handle and aim. So, on for the next couple of years I adapted to going out in the forest and teaching myself to hunt with it. I took to climbing up into trees, so I could see my prey, but they couldn't see me. I found that I loved heights, loved the birds eye view. Soon I found away to get up onto the roof, several actually, and spent a lot of time up there, watching and observing. That's when Coulson started calling me Hawkeye. Then it was my sixteenth birthday. This is where the story picks up, where we dive into it and pay attention to the little details.

It was my sixteenth birthday, and by now I knew about SHEILD, one of the things I knew what that sixteen was the youngest age that they started to recruit trainees at. I was once again sitting up on the roof, looking out at the setting sun as I heard Coulson call up to me,

"Hey Clint, come here." I sighed as I got up and quickly scaled down the side of his house, landing in front of him. I noticed a smile on his face and almost immediately knew what was coming. "So Clint, you're sixteen now, you're one of the sharpest pre-trained kids I know, and I think it is time to recruit you for SHEILD training. You pass the training, and you're an agent." I smiled softly as he handed me a badge that would get me into SHEILD HQ. I had been waiting for this day, even if I had never admitted it. It was a happy moment, knowing that I was going to be trained as a deadly killer to help the world, but at the same time, behind my actions was a pang of sadness. This reminded me so much of my father, or at least the little I could remember about him. It made me wonder if he would be proud if he were here. Coulson had known me so close for so long, he could read my deepest emotions in the only place they could be seen, in my eyes. I knew he would end up seeing and ask if I didn't mention something first so I went ahead.

"Do you think... Do you think my dad would be proud?" I asked and took in a deep breath, looking at Coulson briefly then looking down at the badge. I hadn't cried since that day. Since that one day, I hadn't shed a single tear, not when I broke something or even fell when I was still young, I just kept that same stone-faced expression, and I wasn't about to break that anytime soon.

"Yes, I think he would be very proud." Coulson responded and I looked back up at him as he nodded to me. "You start tomorrow." He said, pointing at the badge. I nodded in return and started walking back into the house. "Barton." He said and I turned around. "I know I could never replace your father, but for what it's worth, you're like a son to me." I stopped, staring at him and nodded. I got that feeling, that nearly choking feeling in my throat, keeping me from speaking, that tingling sensation in my nose, and that burning in my eyes, but I forced a smile and turned away from him, walking back into the house before my thoughts could wander and twist and torture me, before any tears could even think about trying to squeeze their way out of their prison of stone. I made my way into the house and up the stairs, opening my bedroom door and walking in, then closing it behind me. I sighed as I sat the badge on my dresser and let myself fall back on my bed. I stared at the ceiling, thinking to myself, then closed my eyes for a moment, calming myself.

"Keep control of yourself Barton." I mumbled to myself and got back up off my bed. I stripped down to my boxers and slipped under my sheets, reaching over and turning off my lamp then laying down. I had to get up bright and early tomorrow, so I thought I should get some good sleep. It didn't take long for me slip into the void of blackness I knew as sleep, and it didn't take long for the nightmares to start either.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! So sorry it took a while for me to update, I tend to do that plus this chapter is long. Anyways I hope you enjoy, please review and follow and maybe even favorite!**

I woke in the morning shivering from the cold. I wondered why, then realized all of my blankets were on the floor, and my pillow was sideways. Another restless night. Since it happened I haven't gone one single night without having a nightmare and being restless. Not one. As a child I would always wake up in the middle of the night with everything as it was now, but screaming. It got better as I got older. Now I don't wake up, just sleep until morning. I remember the nightmare, every detail, but other then that and feeling completely drained all day theres not much to talk about. The funny thing is even with the nightmares I still haven't cried since my parents died. Never. I sighed as I got up out of bed and stretched. First day of training today, but I was up an hour early. My alarm wasn't set until five and it was currently four. I pulled on some jeans and a hoodie and opened my window, climbing out and up onto the roof. I sat there, watching the sun rise as my mind explored and contemplated various things. Eventually five am rolled around, and what broke me out of my daze? Coulson.

"Hey, Clint, time to get ready. We leave in twenty. And don't forget to pack a few things, remember that for training you live at HQ for sake of convenience." He called up, knowing exactly where I was even though he couldn't see me from my perch. That made me chuckle a bit. I always liked when he did that, how he knew me so well he was able to tell where I was without looking. Made me feel like I belonged.

"Ok." I called down and popped my head over the side of the roof to look at him. He gave me a smile, and I returned one. He turned and left, and I scaled down to my window in no time. I quickly swapped out the hoodie for a t-shirt, packed my bag with what I'd need, and headed downstairs. Breakfast was waiting for me, Coulson's girlfriend gave it to me and and nodded. It was just an apple, but what can I say I like apples. I made sure my badge was in my pocket before I followed Coulson out to the car and got in the passenger seat, setting my bag by my feet.

"So are you excited for you're first day?" Coulson asked me happily as he started driving. I nodded.

"Very. Any other new recruits?" I liked competition. Coulson appeared to be thinking for a second.

"Two other guys and a girl. The girl is sixteen like you, her dad's an agent, and the boys are twenty and twenty one. They were in the army for a few years straight out of high school and were suggested for SHEILD training so we gave them a try." I nodded, more to myself. This would be fun. Everyone always underestimated me because I was such a silent keep-to-myself kind of person. Not to mention at this age I was fairly skinny and small looking. So it was fun to prove them wrong. I had the best kind of training, had it since I was little. Hell I was raised by Coulson, Fury's right hand man. Coulson left me to my thoughts the rest of the car ride, something I rather enjoyed, and once we got there we both got out in silence as well and I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Alright. I'll show you where to go and then leave you there, you're going to do introduction as well as go through a series of beginning tests today for your skill level. Agent Hill will be taking care of that." I nodded. I knew her, she was nice. But I didn't know her a whole lot. We used our badges to get in, and Coulson led me back through various hallways, so many it made my head spin. But either way I did as I was taught and memorized the way just incase I needed to escape. I also counted the number of doors, air vents, and would have done the same with windows if there were any back here. Consequently there weren't.

"Ok, here we go." Coulson said with a smile as we stopped in front of a door marked, 'SRTC'. I wondered what it meant. Coulson smiled and patted my shoulder. "Good luck. Even though you don't need it."

"Thanks, when will I see you next?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I'll be around HQ." is all he answered. I nodded and gave a small smile, which of course Coulson returned with even a brighter one. He tuned and walked away to his office I assumed, and one he was out of sight I opened the door and walked in. It clicked shut behind me, and the first thing I did was take in my surroundings.

"Observative I see." It was Agent Maria Hill. "It's been a few years hasn't it Clint. You've grown a lot." I had to laugh a little at that. I hadn't grown /that/ much. I was still just a smart skinny kid. I set down my bag before speaking.

"It's nice to see you again. And yeah, Coulson started drilling it into my head from the moment he became my guardian that you always had to look for every possible escape route in a room or building. You have to be ready for anything." Agent Hill nodded approvingly.

"He's taught you well. I have no doubt you'll pass all your tests and training and become an agent." I smiled softly.

"Thanks." Since I was the first one here I had the luxury of fully scoping everything out before we started. But there wasn't much to see. All that was in this room was four white walls, a ventilation shaft, a metal door, what looked to be one way glass on one wall (this was the glass side), Agent Hill, and myself. It was a pretty empty room. But I walked over to the one was glass and looked through. In the next room were a bunch of weapons, a few mats, and some gear. Training stuff I guessed. It was only a few minutes before the door I had come through opened, and in came the girl I had heard about.

"Hi. I'm Emma, here for the training." She said as she set down her own bag. It was much bigger. She herself was about two inches shorter than me by the looks of it, and had long brown hair that laid in semi-curls, and deep brown eyes. I nodded to her.

"Welcome. This is Clint. We're still waiting on the other two boys." Agent hill said from where she stood, looking through some papers. Me and Emma didn't talk while we waited for the others. She seemed to scope out the area as I had done. It was another ten minutes or so before the two guys walked in. They were both bigger than me, taller and better built. Looked like they had a lot of confidence. Which of course meant that they would greatly underestimate me, and I would be faster.

"Hi, I'm Tom, this is John." The one who entered first said. He was the slightest bit taller than the dark skinned man next to him apparently named John. Again I only nodded while Emma introduced herself and they set their stuff in the pile. Agent Hill cleared her throat.

"Ok welcome to the first day of training. Since all of you how some background training in some way, were going to skip a few of the first basic tests, and dive into fighting. Now there are a couple of tests we will do first, but its not much. So if you would all follow me." She grabbed her clipboard and papers and walked over to the door I was standing by, opening it and entering. I followed, and the other three came in after me.

"This is a pretty basic training room." Tom said in a way that almost sounded like a challenge. Agent Hill turned to him.

"You learn the most important parts of being an Agent in here. How many windows are there in the part of the building you went through to get here?" Tom's face went blank, he didn't know. After a moment of not saying anything I cleared my throat.

"Barton, go ahead. Tell me everything you observed coming in." I smirked, this would be good.

"There are three windows, the two in the front of HQ by the desk, and this one way glass." I said and pointed to the mirror side. "There were thirty three doors most likely leading to other similar rooms suggesting this whole section of the building is just for training and likely has other training rooms. There were no guards in the area which also suggests there is nothing important here and again is used for training. We walked down five hallways and there were three ventilation shaft entrances, and with this kind of building there are likely multiple separate systems, which of course means it would be easy to find the outside through them, if you would fit of course." Emma looked impressed, while Tom looked annoyed and John laughed at him. I smirked. Already outsmarted one.

"And that is how you become an agent." Our new instructor commented. "Well, grab your bags on the way out I'll be showing you to you're bunk room. Emma you'll be stuck in there with the guys but you'll get your own bathroom." We all walked back into the 'SRTC' room and grabbed out bags, then followed Agent Hill out, down a few more hallways, and to another room marked, 'SRTB'. I was pretty curious so I asked.

"What does this stand for? And the one on the other door?" Agent Hill nodded. Guess she liked observatory questions.

"SHEILD recruit trainee bunking. And the other was SHEILD recruit trainee center. Because its the main meeting room." I nodded and watched as she opened the door. There were eight bunks, or sixteen beds. That was a lot more than we needed. I shrugged and picked the bunk closest to the door, climbing up to the top bunk and setting my bag by where my feet would end up when I slept. Emma chose the bottom bed of the bunk next to mine, and the two army guys took the bunk across from me, Tom on the top bed and John on the bottom.

"You guys have a ten minute break to get situated, use the bathroom and change into these," she put a few bundles of clothes on the bench by the door, "then meet me back in the SRTC." We all nodded and she left the room. I looked around the room and just as Maria had said there were two bathroom entrances, the one on the left marked for men and the one on the right for women.

"Not bad." Emma said as she looked around. I got back to the ground and walked over to the bench. Each bundle of clothes was separated. There was a black jacket with a collar and multi pocketed black cargo pants in each. I picked up one jacket and noticed the name Emma was printed in grey on the left side. I put it down and looked at the piles until I found mine. The other three soon followed, and Emma went into the bathroom while us guys changed in the room. The clothes were a nice fit. I zipped up the jacket and made sure everything was fine before left the room and headed back towards the SRTC room. Again I was the first one there, but it wasn't too long before the others arrived and Agent Hill addressed us.

"Alright come with me." She said and the four of us followed her into the connecting room again. "Today we're just going to see where you are with you're fighting skills in hand to hand combat. Who would like to go first?" Apparently nobody else wanted to go, because I was the only one who raised my hand. "Well. Tom how about you fight Barton." He laughed and gave me a look like he could snap me like a toothpick.

"But I'll crush him." He smirked. He seriously had no idea what was coming for him.

"Just fight him. John, Emma, you two can come with me and watch through the window to be safe." Agent Hill instructed. They nodded and followed her. My opponent cracked his knuckles, already bluffing. This is where it became really fun. Agent Hill gave us the go ahead, and right off the bat he simply tried to tackle me. I did nothing but step to the side and watch him fall on his face. Well, I also smirked. This was a big strong army guy. He was full if himself and relied on his strength, I was more agile, fast, and smart. I could work with this.

"Come on big guy get up." I teased. He growled and got to his feet again, pulling back his fist and aiming a punch at me. I ducked down and lunged at his legs, again taking him to the ground and then quickly getting to my feet. This was far too easy for me. He was fairly untrained for an army guy. Looked like he had smashed his face on the ground too by the small splotch of blood. It was a good long ten seconds before he got back to his feet. His nose didn't look broken, was just bleeding. I watched his face carefully, waiting for him to lunge or throw another punch. And then he had to go and kick me in the nuts. Hard. I wasn't at all prepared for that. I'm not even sure what to call the noise I made, except that It was high pitched and full of pain, and the shrillness of it echoed through the room as I fell to my knees and put my hands over my soft bits. Agent Hill and the other two came running in.

"Low blow! That's an illegal move for training Tom!" Agent Hill said, sounding more worried than anything. It hurt it hurt it hurt and oh god I was dizzy and the nausea was curling up around my stomach and oh god it fucking hurt. I think Agent Hill dismissed the others because they all left the room, and then she kneeled next to me and put her hand on my back. And god I was going to throw up. I could tell. And somehow she could too because she got up and came back a second or so later and shoved a bin under my chin, just in time for me to puke into it. Then there was just pain. Agonizing pain.

"Oh god..." I finally said. Agent Hill rubbed my back for a moment, then asked the most stupid question ever.

"Are you ok?" And I couldn't believe she had seriously just asked that. I shook my head. No I was not ok, fuck no. I had honest to god, never been kicked in the balls before. Coulson home schooled me, it wasn't like I had any friends. But no, I wasn't ok. Agent Hill got out her radio and asked for someone to bring ice. It didn't take more than a couple of minutes, and of course the one who showed up with the ice was Coulson. That was awkward. Let's just say that I got ice, then was sent to the bunk room to rest, while the rest of my group mates took a small written test that judged their skill level, then got what was left of the day to themselves. I pretty much just stayed in my bunk. To be honest I cried a bit from the pain, got a lot of sympathy from Coulson. He brought me my dinner and made sure I didn't have to get anything myself. Made sure I just got to rest. Well, I spent that time reading, and before I knew it everyone was coming in and getting ready to sleep. Tom walked over and looked up at me in the bunk, and I gripped the ice bag a bit tighter.

"Hey... I um... I'm really sorry about... You know. It was wrong and I hope you can forgive me. I let my anger get the best of me." He looked guilty, therefore, I accepted his apology.

"Yeah... Just please don't do it again." He nodded and went back to his own bunk. The lights switched off automatically at eleven, but by then we were all in our bunks anyways. I closed my book and slipped it into my bag, but down the ice, then laid down with a wince and tried to get comfortable. It took a while because of the pain, but I managed. I really didn't want to sleep, afraid of having nightmares and screaming or something. But I knew I really had no choice, so I let myself slip away into the quiet dark.


End file.
